How To Be Happy Again After Being Dumped
Sometimes you meet someone you really like, you two connect really well, you start dating and with time you start falling in love. Everything seems to be going really well until one day, out of the blue, they dump you. Yes, no warning, no red flags, nothing. You are left completely heartbroken and unable to process all the emotions that are going through your head and heart. Today’s blog post is all about getting back control of your life and finding happiness again.
So yes, today’s topic is all about regaining happiness, confidence and self-esteem after a bad breakup.
People always like to say “You are going to live” “Why are you making such a big deal about it” “Get over it” like if the whole situation is that simple. We all know that it is not that simple but let me give you 3 tips that I think can help you to feel happy again after a really bad breakup.
DO NOT HIDE THE PAIN
And I don’t mean it from everybody else but from you. In order to heal, you have to go through this painful process. If you try to pretend that everything is alright and all of this is not affecting you at all, you are lying to yourself. And guess what? At some point, you will have to face it, you won’t be able to run away from it forever and I assure you, it is better to face it now than later down the road. There is nothing useful or positive about denial. It extends the pain, It is not easy but it IS part of the changing process. The good news is that with each day that passes, the pain decreases a little bit and your heart starts healing.
STOP BLAMING YOURSELF
I think one of the first things people do in situations like this is blame themselves. When someone breaks up with you in a very bad way, you start developing feelings of self-doubt: What did I do? Maybe I am not good looking enough, smart enough, independent enough…maybe if I wasn’t so assertive, clingy, talkative, honest… he or she would still be with them. These thoughts and feelings are self-harming, and they put you in a position where you are giving someone else the power of your own self-worth. It is not your fault, you are human and now it is all about collecting yourself and looking forward to the future.
REALIZE THAT YOU CAN BE HAPPY BY YOURSELF
It might take a while but with time, comes the realization that your happiness as an individual should never be dependent on anyone but yourself. If you are in a relationship because the person is providing you something you need so badly and it is hard for you to let go even after a breakup, then analyze if it is truly love or it’s attachment. If it is attachment, then what is it that this relationship gave you that you are unable to provide to yourself? Happiness comes within and does not put its value in someone else’s.
Learn how to be happy with the amazing person you already are. Don’t jump into a new relationship unless you can answer yes to this statement: “I learned a good lesson. I learned that sometimes people come and leave our lives and others stay. I am not bitter, I have grown. I have healed. I am someone worthy of being loved and I don’t need anyone to validate my worth because I know who I am.”
Hope these tips can help you heal your heart a little bit and start feeling happy again.