What To Do If Your Teenager Tells You To Get Out His room?
Teenagers. Wow, wow, wow. They can test patience in ways that don’t seem possible so in today’s video the question is: What to do if your teenager tells you to get out of his room?
Now, the first thing that crosses your mind is: Excuse me? You don’t have a room, you live in my house!
We know. However, let’s analyze why your teenager said that. Is it that they are upset with you and their anger got the best out of them? Is it that they wish for more privacy and they are too frustrated because they feel their boundaries are not being respected? Is it that they are being rude and disrespectful because they have an attitude?
As you can see there are many reasons why a teenager would say something like this however, it is important for them to understand that whatever is the reason, proper and respectful communication between family members is important and non-negotiable (it goes both ways, them addressing you with the respect that you deserve as a parent but also you as a parent talking to them in a respectful way). Often times, parents expect respect from their children but they are not giving any. Children model what they are taught.
Teenagers need to feel they are listened to and that their concerns are validated so establish and nourish a relationship by spending time with them and genuinely being interested in what they have to say. Don’t be in a constant mode of “I tell you this because I am you parent and you need to obey”. It doesn’t work and you are pushing them away. Instead create healthy boundaries by involving your entire family and explaining what are your expectations and why.
One of those expectations and rule should be that everyone talks to each other respectfully and with kindness. So if your teenager needs sometime alone instead of telling you to get out of their room, the appropriate way to handle it should be: “Mom, dad, I am not feeling well and I would appreciate if I can have some time alone, thanks”. And when they tell you that, respect it, so they can be taught through your example that when they use appropriate ways to address you, you will remain calm and you will honour their request.
Teach them the correct ways to say something and don’t take it too personal. I know it is easier said than done but I hope these little tips can help you deal with these types of situations and don’t beat up yourself if it doesn’t always work. Teenage years are difficult.