How To Control Your Anger

One of the greatest lessons we could learn in this life is that our actions do affect other people. Repeated actions have sometimes unfortunate and permanent consequences.

Just like it’s easy to squeeze toothpaste, it is almost impossible to try to put all the toothpaste back in the same tube. Words, when they are said, can only be forgiven but not forgotten. And sometimes forgiveness means to walk away.

Even though it sounds cliché, often times we are so caught up in our own reality and frustration that we are not careful in both, our actions (or inaction) and the words we speak (in anger) that can hurt others. Particularly those who have been nothing but supportive throughout our hard times.

We make a habit of hearing others in order to reply but we don’t take the time to listen to understand. We become impatient, uncaring, angry, proud and selfish.

Instead of walking away when we are about to lose our temper or humble ourselves and answer with kindness and understanding (by trying to see the other person’s perspective) we lash out in the worst possible manner. We make it personal, we spit out unkind words that pierces hearts and spirits. We turn people away for good.

However, even though it is okay to be angry and frustrated it is never okay to be mean to others. One of the excuses we often use is: “I didn’t mean it!” “You made me so angry and that’s why I said those words!” .

I always say that words that are spoken in anger hold the exact view of how people might perceive us.

You see, when we are angry our inhibitions disappear for a few minutes and the words we speak are not filtered. We say it as it is…as we feel them. Even though, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with sharing how we feel, it is the manner in which we do that makes all the difference.

So let’s talk about some ways we can use in order to avoid to reach the stage of being mean/cruel to someone and how we can control our temper.

WALK AWAY

Walking away is an act of true strength. It takes discipline to understand that during a heated argument or disagreement, there are no winners or losers. Everyone loses. So walking away instead of lashing out words we will never be able to take back, is a form of caring for the other person and ourselves.

If we choose to stay and spit out those words, we are seriously taking the risk of chasing away others. They might never return back.

When we start thinking from their perspective (and how much we could affect them) instead of thinking about ourselves, walking away would become something that will be easier to do.

SING AND MUSIC

Singing can help control our temper when we feel we are getting upset. It is very relaxing and if you are not into singing, listening to music can have a quite similar effect.

We should never have to reach the stage of shouting, insulting or becoming personal. When we are able to recognize our triggers, we can work towards trying to calm ourselves down before we reach the road of no return.

This is for our sake and for the other person’s sake. No one should be a target of our unkind words and actions (or inaction). Remember, there are no winners during arguments.

BEAT UNKINDNESS WITH KINDNESS

Don’t ever lash back when someone is being unkind to you even though it might be tempting. It poisons your soul. Instead, walk away in kindness. Uncaring, cruel words said to you do not reflect who you are. It reflects back to the person who says them.

Be a peacemaker; be kind to those who are unkind to you even if you think they don’t deserve it.

Let the Universe handle the rest. It doesn’t mean you have to be their friend or have them around. It means you are strong enough to let it go and allow peace; healing and love fill your heart.

Despite all, don’t ever lose hope in others. There are wonderful, caring and kind people in this world.

How do you control your anger? Please let me know in your comments below.